Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Fear is an amazing thing:

Sitting, thinking, wondering, worried, pondering, meditating, and just enjoying the quiet. The loudest thing in my house at this moment has got to be the wall clock..tick, tick, tick, tick, comforting in a way that is difficult to describe. Continually remind me of the things that must be done, the simple passage of time.

Then the furnace kicks in, muffling the sound of my beloved clock - making the comfortable tick, tick, tick, tick into a background noise, no longer the focus. Dulling the senses and allowing me not to focus on that passage of time, yet on other things.

Now it is the refrigerator, that magical thing that keeps all of its contents cool and fresh. Perhaps I should crawl in there for a while & return cool and fresh? I think not. Although I would very much enjoy being cool and refreshed, I will have to find another way.

I am afraid, my friends, and it has a paralytic effect on my system. I will most definitely continue with the journey to find where it leads, to become the better me One way or another this is what happens when the fear is faced head on and the future recognized for its special powers and magical ability to change a person once it becomes the here and now.

Strange, I am awakened at five in the morning, all on my own without the help of any mechanical devices, senses heightened, sight, sound, smell, taste, all picking up on those things which are normally unnoticed or ignored. This is not the Michelle I know, must be some type of invasion.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

... fear is a sensation that is very much like a cold wind..... if you stiffen up against it, you are paralyzed.... if you let it wash over you and recognize it for what it is, then there is a strange sort of peace....


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