I have done it, wish me luck!

So if I qualify for this little contest..........who wants to come to the party? Below is what I submitted:

Pieces of a poem long ago
Diva incantation even then?
Release her to glitter and glow,
Simply a matter of when:

Is this what must be done
To become the woman of dreams
Hold on tight or run -
Simple decision, so it seems.

I saw her today in the shadow of the mind,
Snuggled close against the cold,
Or was it just what I wanted to find
Another act of monologue of old?

Only...when there is no sound
Do I wonder? Where has she gone?
True smiles with laughter all around.
Love so clear in noise and confusion.

Michelle

I know it was a little like cheating, using parts of a poem written years ago - I don't care! The point here is to try, to not try would have been a shame. Who cares the result, live in the moment, give it your best, all or nothing...

Perhaps I am channeling a bit of something else as well? We shall see!

Cookies & Stuff

I find it simply amazing how much bonding can be done in one single evening when not at rehearsal or football practice!

The youngest had to get three shots yesterday at the Dr. Office, just before his game, said shots did not seem to bother the little guy too much at the game. (A game in which, by the way, my little one, and he is really little compared to most of the other kids out there, sacked the quarterback! Yep, he has been playing point these last couple of games, I make a point of mentioning this because Eric made me feel so bad when I could not remember a couple of weeks ago, I was not drunk, give me a break! Yes sir eeeee Bob, the little one made it to the quarterback twice in his limited play and actually got that giant down the second time, broke right in between two monster boys to do it as well.) NOTE TO SELF: This post is supposed to be about cookies.

After shots, a bumped knee (acquired while partying last weekend) and whatever else, the youngest did not feel up to football practice tonight. The doctor said he might feel a bit rough for the next couple of days, so we all stayed home. It was wonderful. First of all because I put my foot down and refused to let the little one leave the house for friends this evening. After all if he did not feel good enough for football he would not be allowed to just goof off either!

So, we just hung out at our little home. I did some crocheting while Ole brother of mine cooked dinner, something he is much better at than I am, little one did his homework, and we chatted. Nothing special, no ephphanies were exposed or realized, just the three of us hanging out, a bit of light banter, nice.

With as busy as life gets sometimes this was heaven.

I am one heck of a good cook, Ole brother of mine is more of a chef. Ever since the first time he prepared spagetti I have been deligated to desert and side dishes in this house. He made dinner and the youngest and I made desert. Yep, cookies, way more cookies than we could ever eat. I took some pictures, but to no avail, something is really wrong with the camera. Sufice it to say that we will be nibbling on these guys well into the weekend when the invasion of the older siblings occurs.

Halloween

You can find me at the humble home of Richard and Holder Halloween Night, scamming for as much candy as one little lady can tote! This time I will know better than to volunteer a demonstration of any kind when Richard is holding a camera!

The "DIVA" Contest

After spending the last several days, in the "free time" trying to write wonderful things about me that will help to qualify me for this contest - I GIVE UP!

I was going to give all the proceeds to a worthy cause.......me, ole brother of mine, the oldest, the girl, and the youngest. Plus a friend or two I could just see in diamond earrings!

Whatever, I may think of a nice pithy way to proceed in the near future.

I could write a book...

And darn near did, until this stupid machine decided to eat it!

NEXT!

Happy Birthday!

In China...the youngest is already 12. Here, in Georgia (USA) he is still 11, for a few more minutes.

Happy Birthday little guy!

I owe him so much, honestly believe he is here for a reason and I would not be the same person were he not hanging out in my life. He makes me want to be a better person and forces me to become a better mother.

May he continue to change the world for the better for the rest of his days.

You can just scroll down to "Church & Children" to learn a thing or two about the amazing creature that is the youngest.

I think he needs a cool blog name, I was going use Einstein but want to finish the biography of the real Einstein that I am currently reading before making a decision about that.

Things I like:

Rain
Accents - British, French, Australian, Mexican, Yankee, Southern, Mid-western, Scottish - any accent
Serenity via water
Thunder
Poetry
Food
Laughter
“Real” beer
Hugs
Smiles that touch the eyes
Theatre
Desire
Movies
Children, especially mine
Writing
Roller Coasters
A firm handshake
Walking
Discovery
Singing, not often in public
Helping
Reading
Hope
Usefulness
Silver
Baking
Flowers
Leather
Driving alone in the spring on a twisty road
Surprises
Haunted houses

But, I don’t like porn. Pornography of any type, form or fashion does nothing for me. No matter the “body part” being displayed, I find myself unmoved in any way, no repulsion, no desire, no contemplation, nothing, an unmoved, unaffected complete blank. I know, not every woman could admit it, I am different, living in A Different World does that to a girl.

Chocolate Cake - YUM

Baking is my thing. I love to bake! Baking something wonderful that people actually eat and enjoy does more for me and my spirit than almost anything I can think of, and some I choose not to.

I have perfected homemade pancakes. My lemon meringue pie is to die for. The guys at the US Marshals & local County Sheriffs Office love my key lime pie, that is a better story for another time, true, but not for now.

I know you thought I just did soup!

Today I got a hankering for some chocolate cake and went on a search for the perfect recipe, I looked everywhere that I could think of and finally found this wonderful recipe for chocolate cake that I just must try sometime in the near future, although I don't think it tells me what temperature to heat the oven to? Strange!

Someone Suggested this to me - Diva for the Day!

If you click here you can find out all about a contest that I am considering entering. I could win a $10,000.00 jewelry (I did loose an earing in Helen that needs replacing) give certificate! The initial entry is an essay of 100 words or less describing why I should be DIVA FOR A DAY. My thought was that I could use quotes from people who have met me. Like this:

Ellison Said: Michelle, who is involved in the Performing Arts as both an actress and director,
And if you want someone to party with who can, incidentally, schlep a cripple up a flight of stairs, well, you’d do good to select ’er.

Erica Said: had I done so, I woulda been the sad inebriate to have fallen on my butt and gotten soaked, and not that poor sweet soul, Michelle.

Catfish had the following comment: …a very nice looking lady…she was very pretty, wish I was 20 years younger. I would have tried for some of that.

Richard had this to contribute: Michelle needed to continue the party so they joined our neighbors in the cabin next door.

Who could forget the impression I made on Denny: Four strong men carried me up the steps, chair and all.

That alone gets me to 138 words........whatever will I do?

Joking aside, I think that I may enter into this greediest of contests. Anyone care to join me?

Dave Loggins - Please Come To Boston - 1974 - DJ Single

For the last week or so this has been running in the background of my thoughts. Perhaps now I can sleep.

Perspective

On my way to work this morning I decided that I could possibly use some motivation to file. Being a secretary I do know that this is a part of my job description, a necessary evil if you will, but I find it well, silly. If I place a piece of paper somewhere, I know where it is, I know that at any given time I can find anything, anything within ten minutes. The trouble with this theory is that other people are exactly like I am, placing things down, only these people are hoping that I will place them where they belong...The result, as you can see in the picture, is rather disastrous. So the boss has been out of town since Thursday, cleared off his desk, nice and pretty, before he left, and I wanted to do the same with mine. I have a bit of a competitive streak, some people aren't able to admit things like that!

So, I took this picture hoping for a before and after series, or some such nonsense. There is no after picture.

I read an article once that suggested that the people who keep a messier desk are actually more organized. What do you think?

Working late - This place is haunted!

So, here I am late at work. When you work for the most wonderful people staying late is not too difficult. Problem is..........THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED! I have heard of others complain about noises and such, one attorney, no longer with the firm, actually said that one night he saw a man in a suit.

The building dates back to 1897, I think.

I heard noises, went down stairs, looked in all the offices. Hell no I didn't check the basement! I am alone in the building, no other cars in the parking lot.........

OK, so I am going to get my work done and leave, getting dark. If you never hear from me again . . . Send Joan to investigate!

Theatrical Choices

After only recently finishing work on the wonderful little production of "Anybody for Murder" at the end of September I find myself in an all to familiar predicament. What to do next? Normally this is not a difficult choice, the theatre company I am currently serving on the board of directors rarely picks so many wonderful plays in a single season.

My favorite so far was "Picasso at the Lapin Agile", by Steve Martin. I had the great honor of being selected as director of this show a couple of years ago.........

We had a nice little Power Point presentation of quotes from Einstein, Picasso, Steve Martin, Elvis, and a few others.....










We had a Falcon's Cheerleader taking her shirt off:

A very talented young actress and I wish her only the best with her career in the film world.











The local artist guild decorated the stage for us, and we actually sold there work too!


We even said the "F" word on stage, it was in the script & I fought to keep it.

What a pleasure to work on a show that was risky, intelligent and funny!

It was a real wonder they ever asked me back.








OK, the point of this post is WHAT TO DO NEXT:

Black Comedy, by Peter Shaffer

Death of a Salesman, by Arthur Miller

I'm Not Rapport, by Herb Garner

I would like nothing better than to direct all three, alas, there will be other people who want that honor...I could act in one or two, I am a much better director than I am an actor.

Just more things to ponder.

Sophie's Choice

It has only been in the last nine or so that I have gotten into watching movies, as that was about the time that I banned television from my home and discovered so much more about life. So, tonight I subjected ol brother of mine to the movie Sophie's Choice.

Although some things about the film were telegraphed well into the future, an observation of ol brother of mine. I found the acting superb and the story more than a bit compelling. If you have not seen this movie, do. Put it on your list of things to do before you forget.

Another book to add to the ever growing list of "must reads".

Beauty Tip #1

Never, never decide, on the spur of the moment, to do something about that problem hair, which you have reasonably tolerated for more than 2 months, after a horribly depressing day at work!

Just a thought . . .

Help Me Rhonda

If you know then you know.

For Kelly - Gumbo

I spent six wonderful months living in Luisianna when I was a, well, it was a long time ago. Your soup suggestions got me drifting back to those wonderful days.

I have spent some time thinking about Gumbo...and found these recipes. Next weekend we will try one and let you know the results!

Children & Church

On Wednesday, October 17, 2007, the youngest was baptized in a BAPTIST church. WOW, now that was a hard one to swallow for yours truly. He had asked me several weeks prior to "it" what I thought and if I would allow him to literally, as I found out on Wednesday, take the plunge. I didn't tell him what I actually thought, all organized religion is corrupt at some level, but that I was proud of him for making a decision and would support him in every way. If this was what he truly wanted, if he had given it enough time and thought, then who was I to refuse? Who was I to say right from wrong on this issue?

Yes, I am his mother, and believe me I know what power that yields. I do have the ability to refuse such a request. I wanted to refuse it! I wanted to yell from the rafters, no, no, no, please for the love of god(?) no! Why I did not want this to happen, that was the reason for the eventual "If this is what you really believe to be the right choice for you, seeing as I love you and respect your desires, I will attend and support your efforts." The desire for refusal was all Michelle and had absolutely nothing to do with the youngest, and everything to do with me.

The youngest is one of the smartest, intellectually, people I have ever known. In many ways he reminds me a lot of my father (and ol brother of mine), who finds it difficult to have conversation with people simply due to the fact that his mind is running so quickly in so many directions it is an actual effort to slow it down to normal speed. The youngest will never be cool, like his two older siblings. He will never be interested in being cool. His mind does not work in that way.

What he needs, in my humble opinion, is to know that while cool is well, cool, it is not everything.

In this church he has found acceptance and love. He is safe there, I have my spies, and do a bit of investigation of my own. I have tried to instill in them (all three) some principles, or morals, or whatever, they know right from wrong, their Jiminy Crickets are working just fine.

So, Wednesday I called upon ol brother of mine, rather force-ably I might add, and we went to church. Still in my work attire I was way over dressed. I had to work late that night. So, shove ol brother of mine in the car, and bitch the entire drive, just complained about almost everything! Such a tolerant soul ol brother of mine is, neither of us wanted to be there. But, we love the little guy so we went.

What an incredibly, wonderfully, friendly bunch of people greeted us. Neither of us were falling for it! (Insert long rant about the hipocracy of your average church goer.) Alas, I am an actress by trade and found the role not too difficult to sustain the hour or two while in attendance. I have, once again, put my skills to good use for good reason, constantly reminding myself that this evening was NOT about me, it was about loving someone.

And the result:


Gosh, there is a hot tub in the church, only not so hot. This really surprised me, growing up the only baptisms I ever attended where at the catholic church, only involved a drop or two of water, and were more symbolic that an actual dunking.

So, the moral of the story? I love my son. As long as the decisions he makes about himself involve an abundance of education, and do not harm himself or others, I will be there for him, even when I don't want to.

Blocked

What the? Nothing. So, here have a picture.

Fantasy

Everything black.
Little pinch.
Nothing More.
Drip, drip, drip.

Never going to stop.
Seek perfection.
Darkness of conscious.
Achieve obsession.

I can feel it now.
Pressure leaving.
Running down.
Puddles of me.

Never going to heal.
Kill the pain.
Nothing more to feel.
Slice the vein.

Sliding down to my knees.
Kneel no more.
Who hears the pleas.
Cower no more.

Sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Words can never fix.
Whole and complete, fantasy.
Goodbye my love.
I'll really miss me.
Blood soaked dove.

Sometimes it does me good to take that out and remember days gone by. It has been years since I could write anything so raw, so pure, or so true to the feelings of the moment. Not that it is great, just real, no attempt at cloaking anything. A moment in reality placed on paper.

In this society that I live in it appears more and more evident to me that everyone and everything focuses on, with great frequency, the "right here, right now" mentality. We are unable, hopefully just at times, to remember that absolutely nothing is forever, nothing.

We will not always feel on top of the world and we will not always feel like the most insignificant speck of dust. We will not always feel, be, believe, or think the way in which we do right at this moment.

I'm not simply referring to the "major" events of one's life, no that is not it at all. I should do everything that I can to remember the joy and sorrow of those times. Not to re-live them, but to remember and reflect upon what brought me to that point and what changed. No the major stuff, that is easy compared to the everyday things.

When was the last time I walked in the rain? Was I laughing, crying, talking, singing, or simply listening?

I spied upon a baby last night and smiled. He was so tired, that little face would scrunch up preparing to belt a whale that would, in my imagination, bring the house down, in the end he just didn't have the energy, lay his head down and slept.

I became angry with a loved one today. So caught up in something small that I could have exploded and recited the the error of their ways, instead I said and did exactly nothing. Beauty of it was the "moment" passed no confrontation, no patented Michelle ramble about the virtues of this or the value of that. It simply passed.

Life is good, no dream, no fantasy life, but good all the same.

I want to fall in love again, at least a thousand times, and never again know heart break.

Needed this.

Sit back, close your eyes and smile.

Have you ever met a stranger?

Ok, if I can't get Richard to give you the real scoop on this picture, and Zonker is apparently unable, whatever that means...it leaves it to me to tell the tale of late, late Saturday night:

As the party at the cabin of Richard, Holder and little ole me, begins to die down a couple of us realize that there is a bit of a mess to clean up before rest. NOT much of a mess considering how many people were fed and filled with punch, chocolate vodka, wine and a nice assortment of beer. (All of the left-overs somehow made it into the cooler I just happened to take home - thanks Holder!) Thanks be to whomever began the clean-up process!

So, Holder is in bed, Richard is tucked in nicely (with pillow and blanket no less) on the bathroom floor it is left to Zonker to take out the trash and I am responsible for clearing the table, putting up the soup, and doing a dish or two. - Well, I am a bit OCD, there are really only two rules at my house:
1) The bed is made; and
2) No dirty dishes in the sink at bed time
Anything else is negotiable.

OK, so the place looks much better and we (Zonker, me and the punchbowl) head out for the front porch and a smoke. I ask the following question: Have you ever met a stranger? (Because this guy talks to any and everyone, just an observation on my part.)

I don't even think he had a chance to answer when out of the neighbors cabin door pop two men, drunk - not a drunk as yours truly, but definitely stumbling, and a towel. Well, the towel did happen to be covering certain portions of a very interesting...lady? Her first reaction to noticing there were strangers on the porch - running up to Zonkers and saying "Do the chicken dance!"

No, I was not quick enough with the camera to get "the dance" on film!

Our lovely new hostess proceeds to introduce us to her ex-husband & boyfriend, informs us that they are "sleeping buddies", requests to "fix" the horns, then offers us ice for the punch. While she is retrieving the ice, she finds some clothes, covering about the same amount of flesh as the towel, just less risk of falling and scarring our virgin eyes.

We are continually invited to go into their cabin "to party", I continually look at my partner in crime trying to convey the following message: "don't you even think about leaving me here". I think he understood.

Then, out of the cabin come dozens of people! Do you remember the clown car at the circus? Just like that, even some of the clothes they were wearing, words can not describe. What were they all doing in there? Why did we not hear them? What were they doing in there? Why are they all speaking German? What were they all DOING in there. (Yes, I flash another look, please, please, please, please I don't want to be here any more.) What were they doing in there? Where did the walk off to? Then the ex-husband re-invites us to party, they are going back into the cabin.

What is that my eye spies? Could it be, yes, yes, I think it is. So, I inquire about that tat and make the boldest request thus far of the weekend. "Can I take a picture?"

"Sure", says the hostess with the mostest. Now this lady leans over the rail, pokes out her hind quarters, pulls her shirt up, pulls her shorts down, which one of the three men help her with, and, well, she actually shakes that thing while railing "No one has ever taken a picture of my a** before!"
















Well, I don't know what else to say!

They said good night, we said good night. Then I received the answer to my question:

Between laughs Zonker says "I have never met a stranger, stranger."

I know, it sounds too good to be true...but, I have to say "I can't make this Shit up!"

Today, or, Back to Reality

So, I awaken, drink coffee, play solitaire, drink coffee, smoke, try to wake up Einstein, remember he has no school, and is thus with his father, drink coffee, play solitaire, shower, dress & thus, and drive to work.

Not so bad, right, well that is just the beginning. Good morning, hello, these people are really great & friendly.

Sit at desk. Check calendar. Groan. Check voice mail? Why do people leave voice mail over the weekend? Moan. Return calls. Get yelled at. Calm leaver of voice mail during the weekend.

Then begin the work...I love my job, honestly I do, wonderful people, interesting work, never boring, never the same thing, always entertaining. Listed below is an actually conversation from the day:

Receptionist: Michelle, can you help (names have been changed to protect the innocent) on line two?

Michelle: What do they need help with? (This is actually funny, people who call lawyers rarely tell you what they really need)

Receptionist: Well, bla, bla, I don't really know.

Michelle: Sure. (Pick up line two) This is Michelle, how can I help you?

Caller: Yes, I want to know (a babble of legal terms placed in an order making it clear that this person only has a weeee bit of knowledge). Is there anything I can do about it?

Michelle: Well, has bla, bla, bla, been done, or have you looked blab, blab, blab?

Caller: I am on my way to the courthouse to check. What can I do if, white noise?

Michelle: Thats hard to tell, not having seen the documents.

Caller: Can I do anything, or can't I?

Michelle: I would be happy to make you an appointment, you could bring all of your information. Sit down with an attorney.

Caller: Well, is there anything that I can do, more legal talk - all in the wrong context and order?

Michelle: I don't really know, I could make you an appointment with (name of attorney I work for) later in the week.

Caller: Are you an attorney? (this really cracks me up)

Michelle: No, Sir, I am not an attorney. (it really is my favorite statement to make)

Caller: I want to talk to an attorney.

Michelle: I would be happy to make an appointment.

Caller: Are there no attorneys that I can talk to?

Michelle: Not at this moment, no, there are no available attorneys. (at least not those willing to spoon out free legal advise to someone who is starting to get more than a little gruff with the secretary)

Caller: I asked to speak to an attorney.

Michelle: I would be happy to make you an appointment with an attorney.

Caller: I want to know if there is anything I can do about bla, bla, bla, that is what I want.

Michelle: Would you like for me to make you an appointment?

Caller: What a moron.........and then he hangs up.

So, less than an hour into my work week and things are really looking good!

MORAL OF THE STORY: I'm a Moron.

Not totally honest . . . in Helen, Georgia

So, I had the occasion to meet so many interesting, funny, fun, drunk, hung over, intelligent, strange, and/or tired, just wonderful, people. And, well, you see, I was not totally honest. Those responsible for dragging me to this occasion in Helen have been talking to me about, and trying to get me to start blogging.

Well, back in June I was interested enough to start, yep, one drivel of a post. Then I, basically, forgot about the creation of "A Different World", until a few weeks ago when the pressure was on for my attendance in Helen. Then I began stalking everyone linked to either Holder or Richard. Why? Because I was curious to see what all the fuss was about, I wanted to know what I may have been getting myself into, I was raised by a band of stalkers and have finally gotten in touch with the darker side?

Don't know, don't care, I just did.

Oh, here is the (a) point, or at least the explanation for the title of this post. When Holder introduced me all weekend long it was done with the title of "Non-Blogger", and I did not correct her, which at the core was true and honest, after all I don't know jack about this art of communication via electronic devices, unless you count - no that does not count. So, the confession is: I had this blog before going to Helen, but didn't, and still don't, know how to tell people to get here. How embarrassing would that have been to tell a bunch of experts?

An amazing time was had by Michelle this weekend, thanks to all. I may, one day, learn how to become public and invite you into A Different World!

No arts, no letters, no society, and which is worst of all, continual fear and danger of violent death; and the life of man solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
Thomas Hobbes
--Leviathan

"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sheer Playfulness and Deadly Seriousness are my closest friends.
– Philip Roth

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
Friedrich Nietzsche

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. - - Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"

There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
- - George Bernard Shaw, "Man and Superman" (1903), act 4

"I have been chosen! Farewell my friends! I go on to a
better place!"
3-eyed Alien from "Toy Story"

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
Albert Einstein

"Frailty, thy name is woman!"
Shakespeare --Hamlet (I, ii, 146)

"Dancing is silent poetry."
- Simonides (556-468bc)

If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies... It would be a sad situation if the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it.
Albert Einstein

Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies. --John Donne

Family "Night Out"

Or as my brother put it "Cougars Night Out" was a blast. It was only the girls of the family and we went to a local restaurant for drinks and appetizers. Now, this is not my real family, just the one that I have currently adopted. We are not related, actually do not know each other very well at all, we have just done enough Theatre together to know that we like hanging out. Last night was slightly designed to help us through the withdrawal of having just finished a show together. Although, I hope, and I hope I am not alone in hoping this, that the second Tuesday of each month will become "Cougars Night Out".

I have, personally, never met a group of women with whom I could get drunk and silly with until now. Not that I was drunk, that would have taken more than the three amaretto sours, but we all got tipsy and, well, and I do hate to admit this, not my usual behavior, I giggled. So, Ladies, THANKS.

UPDATE: I have just discovered what the term "Cougar" refers to! Thanks oh brother of mine!

October 2007 Already?

WOW, how the heck do people do this every, almost every, day? I have spend the last few weeks doing what almost feels like stalking people, reading blogs.

Now I sit and I wonder if this could be the venue for Me and all of my little bits of, what is the word for it, ramblings?, thoughts?, feelings (NOT), insanity, yes that is it INSANITY? Well, something is better than nothing.

If you are out there stalking me, reading & wondering, don't. I am not all that interesting to anyone other than myself, even the children have caught on to this fact, do not be fooled or lulled into believing there is anything other than a crazy woman behind these words!

My candle burns at both ends,
It will not last the night
But ah, my foes and oh, my friends,
It gives a lovely light!
--Edna St. Vincent Millay

I think the possibility of more pictures is on the horizon, just wish I had a video camera.