Today, or, Back to Reality

So, I awaken, drink coffee, play solitaire, drink coffee, smoke, try to wake up Einstein, remember he has no school, and is thus with his father, drink coffee, play solitaire, shower, dress & thus, and drive to work.

Not so bad, right, well that is just the beginning. Good morning, hello, these people are really great & friendly.

Sit at desk. Check calendar. Groan. Check voice mail? Why do people leave voice mail over the weekend? Moan. Return calls. Get yelled at. Calm leaver of voice mail during the weekend.

Then begin the work...I love my job, honestly I do, wonderful people, interesting work, never boring, never the same thing, always entertaining. Listed below is an actually conversation from the day:

Receptionist: Michelle, can you help (names have been changed to protect the innocent) on line two?

Michelle: What do they need help with? (This is actually funny, people who call lawyers rarely tell you what they really need)

Receptionist: Well, bla, bla, I don't really know.

Michelle: Sure. (Pick up line two) This is Michelle, how can I help you?

Caller: Yes, I want to know (a babble of legal terms placed in an order making it clear that this person only has a weeee bit of knowledge). Is there anything I can do about it?

Michelle: Well, has bla, bla, bla, been done, or have you looked blab, blab, blab?

Caller: I am on my way to the courthouse to check. What can I do if, white noise?

Michelle: Thats hard to tell, not having seen the documents.

Caller: Can I do anything, or can't I?

Michelle: I would be happy to make you an appointment, you could bring all of your information. Sit down with an attorney.

Caller: Well, is there anything that I can do, more legal talk - all in the wrong context and order?

Michelle: I don't really know, I could make you an appointment with (name of attorney I work for) later in the week.

Caller: Are you an attorney? (this really cracks me up)

Michelle: No, Sir, I am not an attorney. (it really is my favorite statement to make)

Caller: I want to talk to an attorney.

Michelle: I would be happy to make an appointment.

Caller: Are there no attorneys that I can talk to?

Michelle: Not at this moment, no, there are no available attorneys. (at least not those willing to spoon out free legal advise to someone who is starting to get more than a little gruff with the secretary)

Caller: I asked to speak to an attorney.

Michelle: I would be happy to make you an appointment with an attorney.

Caller: I want to know if there is anything I can do about bla, bla, bla, that is what I want.

Michelle: Would you like for me to make you an appointment?

Caller: What a moron.........and then he hangs up.

So, less than an hour into my work week and things are really looking good!

MORAL OF THE STORY: I'm a Moron.