Fantasy

Everything black.
Little pinch.
Nothing More.
Drip, drip, drip.

Never going to stop.
Seek perfection.
Darkness of conscious.
Achieve obsession.

I can feel it now.
Pressure leaving.
Running down.
Puddles of me.

Never going to heal.
Kill the pain.
Nothing more to feel.
Slice the vein.

Sliding down to my knees.
Kneel no more.
Who hears the pleas.
Cower no more.

Sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Words can never fix.
Whole and complete, fantasy.
Goodbye my love.
I'll really miss me.
Blood soaked dove.

Sometimes it does me good to take that out and remember days gone by. It has been years since I could write anything so raw, so pure, or so true to the feelings of the moment. Not that it is great, just real, no attempt at cloaking anything. A moment in reality placed on paper.

In this society that I live in it appears more and more evident to me that everyone and everything focuses on, with great frequency, the "right here, right now" mentality. We are unable, hopefully just at times, to remember that absolutely nothing is forever, nothing.

We will not always feel on top of the world and we will not always feel like the most insignificant speck of dust. We will not always feel, be, believe, or think the way in which we do right at this moment.

I'm not simply referring to the "major" events of one's life, no that is not it at all. I should do everything that I can to remember the joy and sorrow of those times. Not to re-live them, but to remember and reflect upon what brought me to that point and what changed. No the major stuff, that is easy compared to the everyday things.

When was the last time I walked in the rain? Was I laughing, crying, talking, singing, or simply listening?

I spied upon a baby last night and smiled. He was so tired, that little face would scrunch up preparing to belt a whale that would, in my imagination, bring the house down, in the end he just didn't have the energy, lay his head down and slept.

I became angry with a loved one today. So caught up in something small that I could have exploded and recited the the error of their ways, instead I said and did exactly nothing. Beauty of it was the "moment" passed no confrontation, no patented Michelle ramble about the virtues of this or the value of that. It simply passed.

Life is good, no dream, no fantasy life, but good all the same.

I want to fall in love again, at least a thousand times, and never again know heart break.